Does your therapist really care about you? This comes up with clients a lot — they want to know if the caring they feel from me is real. I went for a walk with a therapist friend this week and we talked about this. Do you want to know the truth?

Yes. We care.

If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. And the truth is that most therapists (myself and the therapists I refer to) care too much. We do think about you outside of session. We consult with each other (keeping your confidentiality sacred of course) because we want to make sure we are doing the best we can for you. Sometimes we, or at least I, stay awake thinking about my clients and what they are needing. I feel honored that they trust me with their trauma, their pain, their struggles.

Yeah, I know sometimes you may wonder if you just pay us to care but we genuinely do care. Or at least I do. Sincerely. We need to make a living but we couldn’t do this work well if the connection wasn’t there.

Recently, I saw a former client at Target and I wanted desperately to run and ask her how she’s doing. Because I want to know. I tell my clients that I won’t approach them unless they approach me first out of respect for their confidentiality so I didn’t approach her. If she did see me, I was not dressed the part of therapist — I looked more disheveled mom that day— she might not have even recognized me and if she did, I might have scared her. When former clients reach out and send me an email letting me know how they are doing and how our work together has impacted them, it makes my day. I love it.

Anyway, my point is this: If you are my client or ever have been my client and you have felt cared for by me, I wasn’t faking it. I care. I really do. And if you’re someone else’s client and you wonder if your therapist really cares about you, chances are that they do too.